Memorial Day was born from grief.
After the Civil War left 600,000 Americans dead, communities across the country began setting aside days to decorate soldiers' graves. In 1868 it was formalized as Decoration Day, a national observance, then later Memorial Day. Over time it softened into long weekends and the unofficial start of summer. In quiet years it became, for many Americans, more of a great weekend than heartache.
But, the original observance was always meant for years like this one when, after a near five year hiatus, U.S. soldiers are once again in harm's way in Iran.
This spring, American military families are preparing for the original Memorial Day. At the date of this writing, 13 servicemen and women have been killed in the Iran conflict: six soldiers from Iowa's103rd Sustainment Command, an Army Reserve unit that was hit in a drone attack, and one death of an Army sergeant from Kentucky who was killed on an air base in Saudi Arabia. Another six service members died when their KC-135 refueling tanker crashed in western Iraq, (not combat related).
The Memorial Day tradition is older than the country itself. But it is not abstract. It is a mother in Iowa setting a place at a table that will stay empty. It is a folded flag on a mantelpiece. It is a name that will be spoken carefully, for a long time.
Memorial Day asks us, once a year, to stop and acknowledge that freedom has a bill, and that some people pay it in full. Most years we manage that acknowledgment between the cookout and the ball game. Some years it is easier than others.