As people try to work through difficult situations in their lives, they sometimes focus on "Why."
They ask: Why was there a tornado; why did I get laid off; why was there a car accident? Why me?
Modern psychologists say they are asking the wrong questions. "Whys" keep them in the victim state and focusing on placing blame.
They should begin to focus on how to get on with their lives by asking "What" and "How." These questions focus on solving problems, and the answers keep you moving forward:
"What should I do now?"
"How can I make my situation better?
"What can I do to get through this and come out a stronger person?"
Clinicians at Psychiatric Associates in Indianapolis say that asking questions that start with 'how' or 'what' helps you focus on the future instead of the past. You begin to realize that you have the power to make changes.
They recommend honestly admitting your thoughts and feelings to yourself. Allow yourself to experience the crisis. Ask yourself the right questions and develop a plan of action.
