For seniors, moving in with the kids isn't always the solution
The question for seniors is usually posed like this: Should kids move aging mom and dad into their home?
But the question should also be framed this way: Do mom and dad really want to live with the kids?
There comes a time when seniors have to make new living arrangements: A big house in the country just doesn't work if you can't mow the lawn or keep it clean. And what about isolation? In the city or country, there comes a time when old friends are gone, the kids have moved away, and your health isn't what it used to be.
One option is living with the kids. More seniors are doing it these days.
Among those Americans aged 55 to 64, 24 percent live in multigenerational households. That number declines a bit among those aged 65 and older when about 21 percent live in such households. Those numbers are up several percentage points in the last 15 years. The trend is most pronounced among Asian and Hispanic families.
But just because you love the kids, doesn't mean you want to live with them.
Here are some considerations before you take that step:
Habits – They smoke, you don't or vice versa. You like a clean house, they are slobs. You have a cat, they are allergic.
Situation – You don't want to babysit the grandkids. Everyone is supposed to want that, but what if you don't (or can't) and what if they expect you to?
Location – You want to stay in your community. The kids live in another city.
World View – The kids' politics drive you crazy. You hate that they are spendthrifts. You don't trust them with your money.
Recreation – You like a good card game. The kids don't play. You would be far away from friends or senior centers. The kids are too busy, anyway.
Compatibility – You really don't like or respect your son-in-law or daughter-in-law. Or maybe he or she doesn't respect you.
The kids are old, too – People are living longer and at 98 you might need care, but the kids are in their 70s. That's a serious demand on the kids in terms of their own time, energy, health and money.
These situational elements can be deal killers and seniors should consider carefully whether they even want to enter into such a situation.
