Be true to yourself and don't live a lie.
These are the aphorisms we often hear repeated in our travel through life's challenges.
But, what is true of you? What is authentic?
Social psychologist Roy Baumeister has a theory that our feelings of authenticity come from acting in line with the social image we want. In other words, the reputation we want. When we see that people see us the way we want to be seen, we have a deep feeling of authenticity. That is really who we are.
Similarly, if we live a life that does not reflect what we want our reputation to be, we feel we are living a lie. In fact, some social observers say what we want our reputation to be is also tied up with our values of being a good person.
In fact, Baumeister says we have an ideal self, our own idea of our best self. The closer we act in line with that, the more authentic we feel. The more we depart from that vision, the less authentic we feel.
So, if you want to be authentic, imagine what you would like other people to think of you. Now behave in such a way that they might think it.