One of summer's most repeated bits of produce-aisle wisdom holds that round melons are "female" and sweet, while long, oblong ones are "male" and watery. It is a handy little trick, but it is folklore.
Watermelon vines do grow both male and female flowers, but every melon you have ever eaten developed from a female flower after pollination. There is no such thing as a male watermelon, according to horticulture experts. A melon's shape says nothing about its sex, because it does not have one.
Sweetness works the same way. Flavor comes down to the variety, ripeness, and growing conditions — sun, heat, and water — not the shape. The torpedo-shaped melons stacked at the grocery store are bred long mainly because they pack and ship without rolling around, not because anything inside is different.
For a clue that actually works, skip the shape and turn the melon over. According to the Old Farmer's Almanac, a ripe one carries a creamy yellow patch where it sat on the ground. The richer and more golden that patch, the more fully it ripened before picking. A stark white patch means it was pulled too soon.
Rick Good spent ten years in the newspaper business, including with The News & Observer (Raleigh, NC) and The Greenville News (Greenville, SC). He co-wrote, with Melinda Coleman, Rutledge to Riley: Governors of South Carolina, 1776–Present (Published by The Greenville News), and is the author of Mind Games Trivia #1 (Amazon). He has recently spent 15 years creating original trivia content through Sounds Good Mobile Entertainment and continues that with his new company, SGME Software. He edits The Smart Reader’s money, real estate, and business coverage.