How do you know if you're giving your child help that is needed, or if you are creating an anxious, dependent child by helping too much?
Former teacher Nancy Haug, M.S., says you're involved too much if you hover over your child during the homework session, continually provide answers, or think in terms of "my homework" instead of his.
All of this gives the child the idea that you don't have confidence in his ability to do the work required, and that's not good.
In her book Erasing the Guilt: Play an Active Role in Your Child's Education – No Matter How Busy You Are (Career Press), Haug says the goal of homework is to help children develop skills. Here's how to do it without becoming too involved.
* Establish a place for homework. It should be away from TV and generally quiet.
* Set a time when you will be available to answer questions, a time when you are not rushed.
* Let the child do it, especially one who feels dependent or indifferent. Start the session and say you'll be back soon to check on progress.
* Have the child learn how to search for answers.
* Review the assignment after it is finished. Your caring adds significance to the work.
For a writing assignment, spend a moment or two with the child to develop ideas for the project.
For a math assignment, monitor the first one or two problems to be sure the right process is used. Set a time, says Haug, and say you hope that number 12 is finished when you get back.
