Online and in the real world, a new trend is emerging: People going 'no contact' with friends and family.
Indeed, a Cornell University study found that 27 percent of American adults are estranged from at least one family member.
Some go no contact to end abuse. Some do it because they disagree with the political or social opinions of others.
For those who come to believe the downside of no contact outweighs the benefit, here are some tips for restoring a relationship:
* Forget why. Neither of you will ever understand the past completely.
* Ask your relative to tell their side, but don't defend yourself. Acknowledge how frustrating the situation must have been.
* Ask if your relative will listen to your side. If your recollections contradict his, say so, but don't tell your relative that he or she is wrong.
* Apologize when it seems appropriate. It's a sign of strength.
* Be gracious. Express gratitude for what he or she did. If you want gratitude from them, ask if what you did was helpful.
*Stop the blaming. It's not a sibling's fault if you think a parent loved another sibling more. They may even think that you were the favored one.
* Remember who you are now. Peter Goldenthal, author of Why Can't We Get Along, says if you were shy and quiet as a child but are now outgoing and assertive, don't slip back into your old role at family gatherings. If you feel it happening, pretend you are acting the part of a confident person. It will soon feel natural.
