Many people have worked and planned in order to accumulate money and assets to bequeath to their children. What they may not have anticipated is a dispute among their heirs that could break the family apart.
It takes more than a will to prevent hard feelings. It takes communication. Rather than keeping their plans a secret, parents should inform adult kids about the terms of their will and the distribution of personal property. For example, ask Joe if he thinks it's OK that he will get all the books and Mary will get all the silver and china. If he says no, you have time to change the plan and avoid conflict later on.
Among people age 50 and over, only 17 percent have a will, durable power of attorney and a living trust, according to the AARP. But even when they have taken care of business, the potential for bad feelings is high unless there has been communication and agreement. Some tips on how to bequeath.
* Give the same amount to each heir, even though one may be financially better off.
* Make a living trust that will dictate how your property will be disposed of. It's especially important if you are in your second marriage. You want your adult kids to get your house, not whoever your spouse may will it to later.
* Calculate values for the future. Assets that are equal now may be worth more or less in the future.
* Leave a list of your plans with an attorney or friend so your kids won't have to hunt for it when bereaved.
* Check your will and plans every few years to reflect current situations.
Couples with young children have significantly different and very important steps to take.
