Imagine the teary, scream of a frustrated toddler. Now imagine it in a restaurant.
That little nightmare will be funny someday. Like, maybe, 20 years from now. But at the moment, it is traumatic for child, parents, other diners, and restaurant staff.
Nothing short of leaving works all the time but a family can increase its chances of a pleasant dining experience.
Chef Daniel Eddy of Brooklyn, NY, recommends a dress rehearsal for dining.
In a dress rehearsal, parents can help the child preview all the weird stuff at a restaurant: Different food, strange people, funny table. The child can also participate in all the strange stuff that might happen: Standing in line; a waiter asking for the food order; waiting for the food; looking at and even possibly eating some strange food (or not); using a restaurant voice and sitting still (or at least not running around.)
When you think about it, those skills are helpful in every single public space so rehearsing them at home can't hurt.
Make your dress rehearsal for 'restaurant night' as realistic as possible. Change the way the table looks (maybe a table cloth). Make familiar food look slightly different. Make elaborate restaurant manners like a tea party, little fingers raised, for example.
Practice talking in a restaurant voice and being very polite: Please, thank you, and no thank you.
On the real restaurant day, choose a good time for your outing: After lunch and before dinner, if possible, according to Tom Sietsema, food critic for the Washington Post.
Pick a location by a window in a booth, so the child can be entertained and corralled.
Finally, let the child color or play with a toy. Now that is realism.