As people try to work through difficult situations in their lives, they sometimes focus on "Why."
They ask: Why was there a tornado; why did I get laid off; why was there a car accident? Why me?
Psychologists say they are asking the wrong questions. "Whys" keep them in the victim position and focused on where to place blame.
They should instead focus on how to get on with their lives by asking "What" and "How." These questions focus on solving problems and the answers keep you moving forward:
"What should I do now?"
"How can I make my situation better?
"What can I do to get through this and come out a stronger person?"
Doctors at Psychiatric Associates in Indianapolis say asking how and what questions helps you focus on the future instead of the past. You begin to realize that you have the power to make changes.
They recommend honestly admitting to yourself what your thoughts and feeling are. Allow yourself to experience the crisis. Ask yourself the right questions and develop a plan of action.
Rick Good spent ten years in the newspaper business, including with The News & Observer (Raleigh, NC) and The Greenville News (Greenville, SC). He co-wrote, with Melinda Coleman, Rutledge to Riley: Governors of South Carolina, 1776–Present (Published by The Greenville News), and is the author of Mind Games Trivia #1 (Amazon). He has recently spent 15 years creating original trivia content through Sounds Good Mobile Entertainment and continues that with his new company, SGME Software. He edits The Smart Reader’s money, real estate, and business coverage.