In 2015, Alexandra Petri, a Washington Post columnist, came up with some famous Valentines that were never sent, or even thought of.
Valentine from your dog:
Valentine, I love you! I also love this tree and this tree and this leg and this unidentifiable brown substance I found on the sidewalk and am licking and rolling in, but you I especially love!
From your cat:
Valentine, I am marginally less indifferent to you than I am to others.
From the NSA:
Valentine, I love listening to you talk.
From 'a young adult:''
"Baby, you are the only one in this dystopic world of blindly conforming adults who understands me."
